...so i guess old women find me attractive?

So the other day I had to take a co-worker's iPhone to the Apple Store. This is usually a task I enjoy. I get to look and touch sweet looking computers so I never really complain. The only bad thing is that sometimes I'll be helped by a dude with a bad attitude and it won't go so well. When I'm lucky though I get a female and they are ALWAYS super nice (that's how I got my free iPad that one time).

Anyway, on this specific occasion I had a 2pm appointment but arrived about 15 minutes early. I brought my office assistant along with me just to keep me company since the Apple Store is a little ways away. So we walked in and an Apple Store employee came up and checked me in (that's how they do it there) and told me to feel free to play around with the products until it was my turn to be helped.

Now, I have been to the Apple Store quite a bit in my life and know how it works. When they check me in they type in a quick description about me in order to expedite the process of finding and taking care of me. (I needed to throw this in here so that you know how it works.)

So I'm sitting there admiring a 17" Macbook Pro--that I can envision myself owning in the next 20 years sometime--when this older lady employee walks up to me (she's probably 60-ish). She asks me if I need any help with anything. I tell her that I have been taken care of and that she was actually the 4th employee to ask me that.

The rest of the conversation went as follows:

Me: "Yes. Thank you. I've already been checked in." 

Her: "Did you know that you can check in on your iPhone?"

Me: "No, really?" 

Her: "Yes! That way we don't have to check you in and type in 'tall, dark, handsome, with ladybug shirt' into our devices." 

Office Assistant (from a distance): **giggles** 

Me: "Sweet." 

Her (rubbing my back): "Let me show you how it's done." 

Office Assistant (on the floor... almost): **rofls** 

Me (clenching my teeths): "Ooooo-kay." 

Dude Apple Employee (to me): "Do you have a 2 o'clock appointment?" 

Me: "YES!!"

The older lady then told me that she would find me after I was done talking to the dude (she didn't).

So there are a few things to get out of this story. First of all, my office assistant is messed up. Second of all, old ladies shouldn't rub me. And lastly of all (and most important), A LADYBUG SHIRT?! WHAT. THE. HECK! Below is an actual picture of the shirt I was wearing (which The Wife purchased for me via The Woot)...

THAT is NOT a ladybug. That is a Piranha Plant that has just eaten Mario, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Psh, a ladybug? Gross.

(I am pretty tall, dark, and handsome though, aren't I?)